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Magnificent Midlife

Nov 5, 2020

An empowering discussion with Dr Rhoberta Shaler, the relationship help expert. She helps people to recognize and recover from the toxic relationships that can make us crazy!

We talk about:
• How to define a toxic relationship
• The pressure that gets put on relationships
• What Rhoberta means by a hijackal in a relationship
• How a hijackal looks for power, status and control
• How to identify a hijackal
• All or nothing thinking and how insidious that is
• What to do if you find that’s the kind of relationship you have
• How to recognize and deal with gaslighting in a relationship
• Resisting the temptation to think we can nurture the hijackal out of their behaviour
• Rhoberta’s ABB formula – Always believe the behaviour
• Relationship breakdown in midlife – often the behaviour becomes more evident without other variable in the home
• We deserve to have relationships with equality, reciprocity and mutuality bringing true intimacy
• You don’t need approval from someone you don’t approve of – Rachel’s big aha moment
• Ending the justification of bad behaviour and making different choices
• Taking off the rose coloured glasses and seeing red flags
• Having to cut people out of your life if necessary or at least distance yourself from them
• Strategies for dealing with toxic relationships
• Identifying this behaviour in public life too

And more!


Find out more about Roberta:

Rhoberta’s website

Podcasts/ Videos

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Book mentioned in the podcast: Kaizen for Couples

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You can find out more information and get the show notes to every episode at That’s also where you’ll find strategies, support and resources to help make your midlife magnificent. There’s a midlife wellness program, courses, midlife mentoring to help make the most of your next chapter and our online Members Club. If not now, when?